How often have you felt frustrated for not getting what you wanted?

When was the last time you waited for something to happen just like you wanted and it didn’t? Remember when you expected someone to treat you the way you thought they should? How many times have you feel frustrated?

Most of the time, conflicts arise from the creation of expectations that collide with reality. What I think about a certain situation I want to happen is not the same as what actually happens. It is too risky to create expectations based on some situations or people, especially if they are very far from reality.

What is an expectation?

An expectation is the construction of a future event. The mind usually sends us messages in advance of situations that may happen to prepare an action plan, so life does not take us by surprise. It is a big responsibility to create expectations for a future that does not yet exist. The most important is to focus on the present time. Thinking about the future creates a lot of anxiety.

Expectations range from what we expect from ourselves, what others expect of us, and what we expect of others. We can have high, low, or even negative expectations. And watch out: the lack of expectations is not a lack of interest our my goals. We all have had expectations in our lives, but the key is how we manage them. Although if there are no expectations, there can be no disappointment.

Waiting for something to happen will not make it happen.

The disappointment, anger, sadness, and frustration that arise when we do not receive what we expected to receive lead us to blame the other person or the situation instead of focusing on ourselves because we are always looking towards the future and others and that is what fills us with suffering, and it is hard for us to accept  if something has disappointed us, it has been because of our expectations before the event.

We cling on how things should have been, and we are left with only that possibility. That’s where frustrations arise. The problem is waiting for something to happen won’t make it happen.

Expectations become harmful when we expect our lives to be based on them. Life is not forced to give us what we expect. We forget that our expectations are only a reflection of a desire or probability, somewhat removed from reality, that something outside will happen. When we lose sight of that perspective, expectations turn into the cause of our suffering.

Acceptance is the key that opens the door to suffering.

Getting rid of expectations is usually complicated. If we are not ready to let them go and accept what is coming, we risk suffering.  If we manage to lower expectations, we will have an opportunity to develop our empathy.  We believe that we are here to evolve and each person acts according to their level of consciousness.  If we manage to not have any expectations, we will show internal trust, gratitude, and empathy.

Having no expectations makes us more independent because we don’t need anyone else. In addition, acceptance is the key that opens the door to suffering.  Maybe the job where you put all your expectations and it didn’t get done isn’t the job of your dreams, or maybe the relationship where you put all your expectations isn’t the best one for you. If we accepted changes and were flexible in the face of what happened, we would be living a full life.

Observe your expectations and how they manifest in your life, and if you can access another way of approaching your expected future, you will be saving yourself a lot of frustration and anxiety. Remember that the mind is ambitious; it always wants more, it always wants to have control, and it wants it in a world that is constantly changing.

Do not expect anything from anyone. Expect everything from yourself. Invest in your personal growth so that you stop expecting from the outside what you think you deserve to happen and start creating your reality. Having the ability to skillfully respond to changes and not react to them is what makes us feel free.

When one’s expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have. – Stephen Hawking.

 

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