Do you want to be free of resentment and all of its harmful consequences? Then, learn forgiveness.
We must learn to forgive

We have all struggled with the complicated journey of forgiving, but it is crucial to learn how to do it to prevent becoming dependent on life phases that restrict our own development and, in addition, ill-health our minds and bodies. Forgiveness means letting go. For the person who doesn’t want to or cannot do so, it will be more difficult to live in the present moment because that person will cling to the past, managing to also block the future.

We cannot be happy when we waste time thinking about things that happened in the past because we are not living in the present. To identify the wound, purge the emotional world, and ultimately move forward, one must first understand what the wound means and what caused it. As we’ve already said, forgiving someone who has attacked us does not mean that we agree with their behavior. By releasing oneself from the bonds of retaliation and resentment, forgiveness frees oneself, not the other person.

Forgiveness is the capacity to let go of negative feelings and to remain in the current moment free from regrettable memories and revenge fantasies, because those are the first effects of living without forgiveness, and they do not provide us any satisfaction. Revenge, although it is an instinctive response to offense, would only cause further personal suffering. It is worth mentioning that at a point of friction, there is always an opportunity to evolve.

Misconceptions about forgiveness

Before thinking about forgiving, it is necessary to get rid of these false ideas about what forgiveness is. Let’s see the two that weigh the most: Forgiveness does not mean forgetting and it does not mean reconciling with the person who attacked us.

Let’s see the first one: it is a mistake to think that the test of forgiveness is forgetting. On the contrary, it helps the memory to heal because, with it, the wound loses strength by being less present. When we forgive, the wound begins to heal little by little, through the memory of the offense until it stops causing pain, because when we do not ignore it, we have the advantage of getting it out of our system, observing, trying not to judge it until we do. We integrate, thereby freeing the memory.

Talking about it makes you aware that if the other person gets angry, it’s their problem. What you say, you release.

And second, forgiving doesn’t mean we reconcile with the aggressor. Many times we confuse forgiveness with reconciliation. Forgiveness is not synonymous with reconciliation because it can have its reason for being without it existing. For example, we can forgive an absent, deceased, or even unknown person. It is evident that in these cases, reconciliation is impossible. Just as you can also forgive the murderer of a relative without knowing that person. For these reasons, it is a mistake to think that once you forgive, you can relate to the offender as before.

Many times, you cannot recover total trust but also the relationship. After a cycle of forgiveness, you can take advantage of the conflict to review the relationship quality and be able to restart it with more solid foundations, knowing that things may not be the same as before.

For a person to be able to put aside those feelings of hatred and resentment, when a person manages to free himself from that harmful hook, that person also frees himself from the wounded identity. And if the ego does not feel attacked, there will be no one who can forgive.

We are responsible for what we are creating.

Our physical cosmos is a creation that we are accountable for. Neither victims nor offenders exist. We’re all accountable. If I unintentionally drew a person into my life who has hurt me, it was to teach me a lesson; nevertheless, if one is unprepared, one will not be able to grasp it; all is inside, and when one heals right away, that scenario goes.

We have to take responsibility for our lives because we always fall into the trap: we believe that everything that happens to us is bad luck. “That person has money and I don’t because I’m unlucky.” That’s what we believe. It comes from abroad, as if it were a punishment.

The Ho’oponopono technique says that this comes from our memories. A memory is created from a past event, not only that we experienced it but that our parents and ancestors may have also experienced it. They are filters to what we perceive in our world. Every time we run into a problem, we will understand that it is our erroneous memories that were created within us, and through that, we see something that we cannot integrate.

To forgive, you must view the situation from a position of responsibility rather than victimhood, and it is critical to put the intention in forgiveness; remember, where we put our intention, we put our energy, so don’t forget to bring out the emotions. We are responsible for what we are creating. The situations we experience in the present are to heal our wounds from the past.
If I heal myself, I heal my ancestors, and by healing myself, I heal my offspring, that is what quantum physics says.

So, every time we forgive ourselves or others, every time we accept the circumstances we face and accept others as they are, we return to unity. When we give love to difficult emotions by stopping fighting against them and learning to use them consciously, we take away their power to control us. Everything has a reason to be. Learn to forgive.

Forgiveness comes when you recognize that there is nothing to forgive but there is something to understand.

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