When reality does not go according to my expectations, it makes me blame external circumstances, and fear will lead me to want to control everything to feel safe.
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional

Fear is the rejection that we experience towards suffering. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. The first has to do with understanding fear and the second with how to assume it. The fear of suffering is born from our rejection of the circumstances that cause us losses, conflicts, and lack of awareness of our desires with reality, and it is not mandatory to suffer for all that. Suffering is only one of the responses we have to our scope.

When the desire goes against what we expected to receive, we believe that we have been harmed and we blame circumstances beyond our control. We blame everything that has happened outside of us. This causes me pain. That pain is the fault that I cannot control what happens around me.

Most of our desires come from the idea of feeling safer if we can meet our expectations. So I look for a home, a job, or a person who makes me feel safe, but if things don’t go as planned, that makes me afraid and causes me suffering. Fear of getting old, fear of what they will say, fear of death, fear of the unknown, but behind the lack of acceptance, there is a great ego and a very strong fear, and that fear affects the whole, just as love affects everything.

From fear, my frequency goes down. From love, my frequency goes up.

Fear of change, fear of not knowing how to get out of the situation that I do not want to accept because I think that if I let go, nothing will be the same again. When I accept, I give myself to what it is and from that point I start looking for solutions to be able to change if necessary or to overcome if that’s what I need. Acceptance allows me to choose how to proceed and get out of the situation that is causing me pain. heals and transcends.

Fear obscures and buries all our abilities and skills, sinking us so much that we cannot even reach the surface to get out of that hole. It has happened to most of us that we know how to do something perfectly, but when it comes to showing our ability in public, for example, clumsiness takes hold of us and this is repeated in many aspects of our lives, whether in relationships where those inappropriate behaviors generated by the fear of being hooked or abandoned by the partner can lead us to the end of the relationship. Jealousy, reproaches, fights, all that is generated by insecurity, that would not be present if fear did not exist. Fear sabotages the relationship by following this example.

So it is not a lack of capacity of not being able to have a relationship or show my skills, it is fear. It is fear of rejection or being ridiculed, fear of appearing insufficient, and since we are so convinced of those beliefs, we provoke that fear.

Fear is so contagious

Feelings of fear are as strange as they are natural. Sometimes it makes us more afraid of a lizard than of death itself. This emotion makes us always react with emotion and not by reason.

Fear is so contagious that when it is experienced in the face of what we cannot control or understand, it is normal and logical. But before being trapped in that cell, we must bear in mind that fear is contagious, and when it arises, there is always something that feeds it and expands it with others. It expands from mind to mind until it causes panic.

An example would be the current situation we face in the world. What is not allowed is for fear to become irrational and our emotions to get out of control. Fears are part of us to invite us to react to danger, but if our behavior and approach become irrational, it will not help us at all. You have to know how to drop that weight and get out of today’s fear.

The real danger is not outside, but within us.

For Buddhism, dealing with fear is an inner work that revolves around perception, and in fact, fear is definitely a perceptual error that translates into fantastic and horrific images that end up taking over our minds.

The real danger is not outside, but within us. Fear finds more fertile territory in those who have a heart without love. Resentment, envy, and egoism are harmful ways of relating to others, ways that contain a germ of combat and everyone who is at war must fear.

Buddhists point out that the best way to deal with fear is through mindfulness and compassion. These are factors that lead us to be and feel stronger and, therefore, with less fear. Because fear is linked to the past or the future, mindfulness prevents our mind from being filled with fantasies that only feed fears.

Detachment produces fear. But right there is the key, to understand that nothing belongs to us, that everything that comes into our life, and, everything that we are, is nothing more than a transitory reality, and if this is not understood, attachment arises, and with this, the fear of loss, one of the greatest fears that will predispose us in a vicious circle.

The more attached, the more afraid. The more afraid, the more attached. Letting it flow and accepting that everything is transitory makes us less fearful. If we let go of fear, we will see that we have always been free to fly without limits.

Courage is made of fear. What varies between a “coward” and a “brave” is simply a decision. It is not that the “brave” is not afraid, but rather that he has decided to go through it instead of avoiding it.

Deja un comentario

Tu dirección de correo electrónico no será publicada. Los campos obligatorios están marcados con *